The Republic of Guardian eatos is a mammoth, efficient nation, remarkable for its burgeoning dolphin population. The hard-working, cynical population of 9.671 billion Guardian eatosians are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The relatively small, pro-business, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Public Transport, and Administration are also considered important, while International Aid receives no funds. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 9.9%.

The very strong Guardian eatosian economy, worth 593 trillion pesos a year, is led by the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Basket Weaving. Average income is 61,344 pesos, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 192,674 per year while the poor average 14,954, a ratio of 12.9 to 1.

Crime is a problem. Guardian eatos's national animal is the dolphin, which can occasionally be seen avoiding garbage in the nation's murky oceans.

Guardian eatos is ranked 197,557^th in the world and 5,939^th in Alliance of Supreme Powers for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 300.3 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.